A Few Of My Favorite Things

With my time remaining in Israel having dwindled to a scant week, I've been thinking a lot about readjusting to life in the States. Many things about Israel are frustrating to me, and I won't miss them much. Other things in the Israel experience are so similar to the U.S. that it hardly makes any difference whether I'm here or there. Then there are those things that, because of personal experience or impersonal observations, cannot be replicated back home. These are just a handful of the things that are distinctly Israel to me, and that I expect to miss when I go home.

Dogs On Buses

And dogs in restaurants. And dogs in malls. And dogs in kindergartens. And dogs in hospitals. Israelis bring their dogs with them everywhere they go, and no one in this country gives a rats ass. Feeling jealous, dad?

Galgalatz

Sure, they play an indefensible mix of 80's pop, cheesy oldies, kitschy garbage and teeny bop Hebrew music, but Galgalatz is an Israeli institution. My friend Nimrod goes so far as to insist that their weekend program, םופשבוע רגוע (chilled out weekend), is auditory lithium intended to prevent riots or road accidents.

Chutzpa

I have a challenge for any of my readers who will be in Israel in the future: Go to any falafel stand all across the country, order a sandwich, and try to pay with a 100 shekel bill. If the cashier doesn't demand a smaller denomination (so called "small money"), he is either stoned or missing the frontal lobe of his brain. Just try it. Trust me.

Cheap Hummus

Supporting my half-kilo a day hummus habit is about to get a lot more expensive. What bothers me the most about the whole situation is that hummus is just about the perfect food, but it's seriously disrespected in the states. Think about it: You can use it as a main dish or a condiment. It's vegetarian. It has fat, protein and carbohydrates. And it's fucking delicious! I'm gonna have to spend some more time on Lawrence when I get back to Chicago. Not even sure where I'm going to find the stuff in Minneapolis.

The View From The Top Of The Carmel

I've lived here for a full school year, and this view still manages to take my breath away. My parent's house in Chicago is as close to the Lake Michigan shore as the university is to the Mediterranean, but because Chicago is flat we could never see the water. In Haifa, the water is not visible only when there is a building in front of you. The picture does not do justice to the view.

Maccabi Haifa

Maccabi Haifa didn't have a great season. In fact, they finished in fifth, costing their coach his job and giving Menachem plenty of heartburn along the way. Even so, I followed loyally all season and had a great time along the way. I learned something about soccer, although mostly I enjoyed the atmosphere at the games. These are cutallthebullshit contests, with legions of angry, somewhat unbalanced fans screaming their demand for nothing less than total domination on the pitch. The focus is always on the game too. There is no jumbotron, no contests in the stands or T-shirt cannons, and the only time the PA system is engaged is to announce a scoring play or a substitution. It's a novel idea, no? And there is way too much money in American sports for it to ever carry over. So for one last time in Israel, let me proclaim "הדם שלי ירוק."

Egged

Egged has been my primary mode of transportation, both in Haifa and all across the country. I've taken buses between Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Tiberias, Eilat, Netanya and Nahariyya, as well as innumerable intracity trips in Haifa. They aren't always timely or comfortable, but Egged has always gotten the job done for me, and it will be a shock to say goodbye to those big, green buses.

The Family

Israel can be intimidating, especially initially before one makes the adjustment. I had it easy. Most of my Israeli cousins live in Haifa, and I got to spend a full year getting to know them. My time with them ebbed and flowed depending on my schedule and whether or not I was traveling. I definitely spent the most time with Menachem, who I had lunch with semi regularly. I'm definitely going to miss Shahar (the little guy pictured above) and his little sister Tooty (real name is Shai.) Devora always made sure there was someone to look after me in Haifa, while Karmit and Shani were more than happy to share their kids with me. It's easy to say they are family, but they have been both family and friends while I have been in Haifa and I'll never forget it.

U of Haifa Dorm Life

Whether it's playing cards, drinking and nargila in the backyard, barbecues or weekend bonfires, I had an absolute blast living in the dorms this year. I lived in a dorm once before, my Freshman year in Champaign. And it was nothing like this. People at IT kept their doors closed, were involved in themselves and uninterested and meeting the other people in the dorm. Not so in Haifa. The overwhelming majority of my friends live here in the dorms, both Israeli and international. I've met Jews and Arabs, people who identify with Peace Now or the settlement movement, and international students from all over the world. I've made dozens of friends, and I've learned a lot about the world I live in.

Hebrew

I could write a long post just on my my complicated and ever changing relationship with the Hebrew language. As I was growing up, my attitude ranged from pride to distaste to indifference. When I first arrived to Israel, Hebrew was exciting and novel. However, after a few weeks I got frustrated with struggling with the language every day. Of course it got easier over time, and now it has become just another part of my day. I speak only Hebrew in my house and at work, and only Hebrew with about half of my Israeli friends and many of my family members. I hope that I'll be able to keep my skills up back in the states. Hebrew is an incredible language, logical and beautiful and uniquely Jewish, and I'm immensely proud to say that I finally speak it.

Arabic Final (Finally)

Today was an emotional day at work. I had a near disaster, as one of my wheelchair-bound students started rocking back and forth in her chair while we were bringing the kids in from the garden outside. I was walking back to get her when the chair dipped into a garden bed and tipped over. I caught it with her head literally inches from the pavement. Nearly stroked out. When we came inside, I sat down to catch my breath, when Rola and the kids surprised me with a going away party. Two of the kids were really upset and asked me questions like "why I wanted to go to America", and "who was going to play with them once I was gone?" It's going to be really tough to say goodbye on Wednesday.

My Arabic final exam is tomorrow at noon. I'll be glad to get the damn thing over and done with. If the midterm was any indication, this is not going to be a cakewalk. I do feel a little better prepared than I felt before I took the midterm, and hopefully that will pay dividends. I'll share either way. I'm gonna follow the advice of a wise person in my life, and just go in and tell Yaron what I know. Aint nothing else to do.

One random scrap of oddness before I get back to my studies: The Israel Baseball League has gone belly up. I can't say I'm surprised. The league was a financial catastrophe, to the point that they began deducting money from player's paychecks to recompense the league when they would hit foul balls into the stands. Plus, baseball just didn't have much appeal for the Sabra's. Still, it's really a shame that this league was a one hit wonder in the same mold as the XFL. Maybe someday that IBL T-shirt I have will be a collectors item. But I doubt it.

Carmel Park

What a gorgeous day it is today. What an excellent weekend this is shaping up to be. I spent most of yesterday with Menachem. We went to the Grand Kanyon mall (it's a pun, the word "kanyon" in Hebrew means mall), where we had lunch together, traded stories and did some grocery shopping. I came back home that afternoon and did a little work, but mostly tried to be with people as I anticipate my time in Haifa dwindling. After Shabbat dinner in the dorms moadon, I went with a few of the boys out into the park for a night of camping.

I didn't really take advantage of the park much last semester except to job. I'm glad I know better now. The Carmel Park is the single greatest advantage Haifa has over every other major city in Israel - a massive nature reserve literally a 5 minute walk away. We walked about a half hour out, cutting East and South away from the campus to a nice clearing with a fantastic view of the water and parts of the city below. What we didn't anticipate there being were a group of drunken, jackass locals who were screaming and carousing until 4 A.M. I'm not exactly an early-to-bed, early-to-rise type, but this was way over the top.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK!

We had trouble finding the wood we would need for a fire. We got out there late, didn't have enough flashlights to go around, and there just wasn't any fuel on the path. A crashing into the forest we would go. Finally, we pulled a huge, dead branch down that had fallen but gotten caught in the lower branches of a tree. It made for an excellent fire when all was said and done.

Just a cool fire pic.

The next morning we hiked a little further East up the road and hit up a different Druze pita stand. They are multiplying! This guy was more engaging than the group who runs the stand by campus, and they had a hummus option to go along with the labneh and za'atar. A good time was definitely had by all. We trecked back home for a quiet afternoon. I did some laundry, a little reading, and hung out with my friends. Tonight I'm going with Menachem to my final Maccabi Haifa game of the season, vs. Maccabi Herzlyia. Beitar has already clinched the championship based on points (bastards), but we're still going to pull for our team. Shabbat shalom.

This Post Is Not About Israel

The Chicago Cubs are my one true love. Allow me get that off my chest right now. I have been a fan the entirety of my young life. Nothing would make me happier than watching the Cubs win a World Championship. As of this writing, the Cubs are 9 games over .500 and in first place. This season has me drinking the Kool Aid as much as I ever have. Which is why Jim Hendry, their idiot General Manager, is now dead to me.

Jim Edmonds wasn't out of work long. The Chicago Cubs agreed to a contract with the 37-year-old outfielder on Wednesday, five days after he was released by the San Diego Padres.

"Hopefully, Jimmy has something left and it was just a bad start," General Manager Jim Hendry said.

This time, he has gone too far. There are certain taboos in baseball that you do not transgress, and this should have been one of them. Edmonds is old, broken down and a waste of a roster spot at this point in his career. He is no longer good at baseball. He will not help this team to win. That is not the issue at hand. Edmonds is also an arrogant, hotdogging, selfish clubhouse cancer, who performed unspeakable acts of evil against this franchise for years as a member of the motherfucking St. Louis Cardinals.

He should never have been given the privilege of putting on the blue pinstripes. I worry that this will indeed be the year that we win it all, and the victory will be less sweet for us true believers because we uniformly loathe the team's primary center fielder. There is no forgiveness in my heart for what Edmonds has put me through, and it would fit his M.O. to rob a World Series victory of its unchecked joy. Go straight to hell, Jimmy Ballgame. And take Cruller Jim with you.

Euroleague

The Euroleague final was played Sunday night between Maccabi Tel Aviv and CSKA Moscow. I can only assume that acronym is some kind of secret Russian police. The game was a huge deal in Israel, though I had a hard time getting worked up about it. Maccabi's roster is stocked with failed NBA players and college ballers who couldn't make it professionally in the states. Even so, the moadon of the dorms was packed with people to watch the championship game, and I came along for the experience.

It was a strange one indeed. First of all, the game play was weak. Maccabi got smoked by CSKA, falling 91-77. It wasn't as close as the final score would indicate either. Watching these teams play was like watching Big Ten basketball - not a compliment, believe me. If your interested, the postmortem is available here. Usually, I'm the one in the room with a ton of knowledge about the game, the competitors and the history of the teams. Not Sunday night. I was like THAT guy who shows up to a Super Bowl party, and then asks which team is wearing the lighter colors during the halftime show. Except I knew better and just kept my mouth shut.

The strangest thing about the whole thing was the way the room was divided down the middle. I was sitting on a bean bag chair on the floor, surrounded by people on couches, so I couldn't see across the room. Everyone in my area was cheering for Maccabi and groaning when they would mess up. It was the opposite way around at the other end of the hall. Someone was definitely cheering for the Russkies. I asked my friend Omri, expecting him to tell me that they were ex Soviets who had made aliyah but were still supporting their home squad. "Nope," he would tell me, "it's the Arabs." Apparently, just because it's Israel on an international stage, they have to cheer against her. It was really annoying some of the people sitting by me, but nothing came of it. What a fucked up country this is sometimes.

El Al showed a commercial during the game that really should be a part of the state's hasbarah efforts. It began with Israelis from all sects of the country singing individual lines of the national anthem: A black Jew, a couple of Mizrachim, some religious Zionists, Europeans, children, Druze... Then they all joined together in harmony for the last couple of lines of Hatikva. They really ought to show this ad in the states. Just bring together 150 or so wealthy American Jews, put them in a room, serve them bagels and orange juice, and show this 45 spot on a projection television. They would pull out their check books and practically beg to give their money away. So are you listening, Israeli government? There's some free money out there for you, and I know how you can get your hands on it.

Where's The Beef?

Spring has returned to Haifa. The trees are in bloom, wildflowers are carpeting the Carmel park, and the whole city has been taken by a warm, wholesome air. Of course a return to spring means a spike in outdoor activities. Yesterday I was out and about all day, enjoying my new friends, my freedom and the killer weather we are being blessed with.

Budding flowers on the tree outside my bedroom.
Soon the whole area will smell like flowers again.

At about 11 yesterday morning, I met up with a group of people and we went on a romp through the park. It was never intended to be a hike, and so we took it easy, talking and joking as we wound our way down the path. Someone started talking about plans for late night, and I tossed out a suggestion: how about a bonfire in the park late that night? The idea took and I began to spread the word. We walked for almost two hours and I had begun to work up an appetite when we came back to the main road. Bill had been telling me about a "Druze Pita" stand that was only open on Shabbat. We walked over to it and I bought myself a sandwich of just baked pita, labneh, zatar and olive oil. We sat by the side of the road people watching for about an hour while I munched, indulging in lots of olives and about 8 dixie cups full of tea. It was magic.

A lazy afternoon in the Carmel park.

That evening we went to a soccer game, Maccabi Haifa versus Maccabi Herzliya. The game was astoundingly slow for the first 65 or so minutes, and then picked up for the rest. It ended in a 1-1 tie, the second tie I've seen in person at Kiryat Eliezer stadium. One of my friends remarked "There's no overtime? But aren't they required to have a winner?" Unfortunately, ties are perfectly legal in soccer. They are just patently un-American.

This look is a keeper.

One of the best things about going to Israeli games is that you get to see a side of Israel that doesn't show its face in most places. Frankly, Israeli soccer fans are overwhelmingly crude, chain smoking yahoos, the lowest common denominator of society. We rode the bus back with a group of nut job teenagers, who were thrilled to pose for pictures, chat with me about Michael Jordan, and hit on our girls with the reckless abandon of a pervert who knows the object of his lust doesn't understand a word he is saying. I told them to knock it off.

MORTAL KOMBAT!!!

When I got back to campus, David and I began our search for wood. It was awfully shortsighted of me not to collect wood during the daylight hours. Armed only with my wits and the tiny flashlight that my dad got for free from Dan hotels, I made my way off into the night in search of dead trees to strip for larger fuel. The coyotes were out last night and they were a little close for my comfort. Judging by the sound of one of their howls, it couldn't have been more than 10 yards away. I was understandably a little nervous walking around in the dark. I was searching near this outdoor bathroom stall when I heard something move in the dark, and I froze. I scanned the woods with my light but I didn't see or hear anything else, so I took a breath and stepped forward. Thats when I happened to flash my light into the bathroom for a moment, and the big red eyes staring back at me nearly caused me to stroke out. Regaining my wits a split second later, I fixated my light on the bathroom door and was treated to this absurd spectacle.

"You might want to give that a minute."

There was a fucking big, stupid cow staring at me from the bathroom. He seemed perfectly relaxed. I'm sure if the cow had an interior monologue, it was thinking something along the lines of "what?! I come here every night. What's your problem?!" I'm not even sure how the thing managed to turn around in there. The bathrooms are pretty narrow. My composure regained, we managed to collect enough dry wood for about an hour and a half of fire.

The humble beginnings of our bonfire.

We attracted a group of about 15 people, who mostly sat around talking, drinking wine and goofing off. The fire never got very big, but thats probably for the best. It was big enough to warm everyone's butt and keep away the coyotes, so that's all I can ask for. I'm definitely going to organize another one of these, and next time I'm collecting the wood during daylight hours.

David and Mallory warm up by the fire.

Pitchers And Catchers Report

Every religion has their festivals, many of which are long and unnecesarily drawn out. Jews have 8 long days of cholesterol and matza induced constipation. Christians get 6 weeks of bad music and bogus "War on Christmas" stories on Fox News. Muslims have the pleasure of skipping lunch for an entire month. For Cubs fans, the protracted holiday season begins today: pitchers and catchers have reported to Mesa! Glory, glory hallelujah!

Of course today is ultimately little more than an embellished landmark on the road from the darkness of the offseason to the sublimity of baseball's rebirth. If opening day is Christmas, than today is a mere Black Friday. "But Eddie", you'll protest, "this is a broken analogy! Baseball isn't a religious experience!" Tell that to these whackos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib8s3Ozgccc

So today, on this the holiest day of the month of February, we pray that the baseball gods will deliver us swiftly to the regular season, devoid of any hot tub or fungo bat related injuries, and perhaps they will see fit to nominate a sucker to take Jason Marquis off our hands. Amen.

(I get the distinct impression I'll be atoning for this post on Yom Kippur.)

Haifus - Interruptus

Last night was supposed to be the long awaited rematch between Maccabi Haifa and Beitar Jerusalem, following this 0-0 debacle at Kiryat Eliezer stadium in early November. Omri and I joined a score of Israelis in the dorm moadon to watch the game. Everything started off the way I figured it would - fans cheering and taunting each other, players going for each others throats etc... Then without warning, the power at Tedy stadium in Jerusalem failed. The field and stands went dark and thousands of cell phones were immediately lit. At first the fans took this as a sign to up their baiting to deafening levels, but after it became apparent that the game wasn't going to start up again any time soon, everyone quieted down and just stood waiting. The power company tried to kick start the generator, but when black smoke started billowing out onto the field, they gave up. The game was canceled and will need to be rescheduled. In the meantime, this just reinforces in my mind that everything in Jerusalem is shitty and falling apart. אם אשכחך ירושלים תשכח ימיני... Riiiigggghhhhtttt.

Record Lows

We are in the teeth of a cold snap in Israel that has many of my Israeli friends remarking that they "can't remember a time when it was this cold here." Surprise! I guess the joke is on me - I was under the impression that I wouldn't have to put up with a real winter this year. The temperature has routinely dropped into the thirties at night up at the university. Tonight will be no different. Thank God I'm in Haifa too, as it is colder elsewhere. Safed had a frost last night, while it fell to around 16 degrees fahrenheit at the Hermon mountain in the very northern part of the Golan Heights last night.

Of course the weather won't keep me indoors. I went out to a pub last night with Omri to watch the Maccabi Haifa - Maccabi Tel Aviv soccer match, which Haifa won handily, 3-1. This morning I got up and went to the market to buy some produce. I must say, the shuk is a different place on Monday than it is on Friday. It was so much less crowded than I'm used to, so things went quicker and the service was better. Plus, with no one pressing up against you in a crowd, you don't worry about being pick pocketed the whole time.

Because it's been a while, I'd like to give a quick update regarding two important political processes ongoing in Israel right now. First, the faculty strike at the universities continued through its 85th day today, after an attempt by the university Presidents to garner a court injunction against the professors forcing them to break the strike failed. This leaves few options to prevent the cancellation of the semester. In fact, the Presidents had promised to cancel the semester, and possibly the whole academic year today if the courts did not force the faculty back to work. They have since backtracked from that, but I'm betting it's only a few days before they reach the inescapable conclusion that this semester is irreparably damaged and needs to be canceled. The exams for these classes would have been held next week, had the semester begun on time.

Also in the news, Israel and the Palestinian Authority began "Final Status" negotiations this morning at a Jerusalem hotel. For those unfamiliar with the concept, I will give a brief explanation: Final Status negotiations are intended to end the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, create a Palestinian state on land currently occupied by Israel, and guarantee Israel's security. Personally, I think this is a terrible decision that will eventually lead to more violence. There are a host of reasons why the time is not ripe for these negotiations, but perhaps most important is that the Palestinian Authority has no control over what happens in the Gaza Strip, which is envisioned as an inseperable part of a future Palestine. Israel cannot and will not negotiate with Hamas, the terrorist organization that controls the territory, so Gaza would not truly be included even if a peace treaty was signed by the two parties. I hope I'm wrong, but I am certain that these discussions are doomed to fail.

Fukudome!!!

The Cubs have signed Japanese outfielder Kosuke Fukudome to a 4 year, $48 million contract. There are a lot of things that excite me about this roster move. Certainly I look forward to Fukudome's patient plate approach, high OPS, above average speed and cannon arm. I'm thrilled that this roster move will not cost the team any players or minor league prospects. I'm even glad we will be adding some ethnic balance to our team. However, all of these factors pale in comparison to this: I can't wait to hear the creative ways that this man will find to mispronounce "Kosuke Fukudome."

Strange Happenings At Haifa U

The student strike is well underway as the union promised. There have been demonstrations every day since Monday, and the student union built a physical barrier blocking the interior road that runs parallel to the university. Today they burned car tires. Even so, I've been a little disappointed with what seems to me to be a contrived demonstration by a student base that is not terrifically committed to the stated cause. The end result has been the effective closure of the university without making an effective statement to the professors or the government about their rights and expectations. I've taken part in better protests than this one. If I was the student union, I would be embarrassed. I stopped by the barrier to see the protest in action. There were maybe 20 students there, and they were sitting around eating. Totally pathetic.

The student's "demonstration" on Monday afternoon.

The strike has not canceled my classes, but it has succeeded in making things really inconvenient for me and the other international student types. We've held class in the dorm area for the last few days. We nearly had a full on disaster in Hebrew class Monday. We were given the dorm synagogue as space to hold class, which is not optimal to begin with. It was cold in there so we turned on the radiator. 20 minutes later we began to smell something acrid. The fucking radiator was going up in flames! The class went bananas, running around trying to find a fire extinguisher. Here's what really gets me; there was no fire extinguisher in the synagogue! I just can't believe that. We even found a room in the back filled with hookahs and board games, but no fire extinguisher! It's unconscionable. Thank God the fire burned down on its own. There was a stack of wooden chairs leaning up against it. This could have been a disaster. Clearly, the University of Haifa does not take fire safety seriously.

I've had classes in two different rooms in the moadon, the Federman lounge area where I normally check my email and post to this page, in the synagogue as I mentioned, even in the living room of my apartment! Starting today the union agreed to open one wing of one academic building to us so we could continue with class in an actual classroom. The result is that I stayed in one room for 5 consecutive hours today on a beautiful sunny day. What started out worth a few chuckles is quickly starting to get on my nerves. I really hope that this strike ends soon. Actually, I hope the government will finally sit down to negotiate a fair agreement with the professors, but it'll be a cold day in hell before that happens.

I went to a pub tonight to meet Menachem and Amir and watch the Maccabi Haifa - Beitar Jerusalem soccer match. Apparently tonight's game does not count towards the league standings as it is a game in the separate "Toto Cup" competition, but nobody told the players this. It was the dirtiest game I have seen since I got to Israel. A Beitar player drew a red card less than 5 minutes after we sat down. The refs are probably icing down their wrists tonight after having to reach into their pockets for yellow cards so many times. In spite of (or maybe because of) the dirty play, it was also the most exciting game I've seen all year! In Toto Cup play, there are no draws and if after a 30 minute overtime session the game is still tied, it is determined by penalty kicks. Maccabi and Beitar were deadlocked 2-2 after 120 minutes of soccer and headed to the penalty kick segment of the game. What a finish. Maccabi trailed early but got back back into it and eventually bested their arch rivals by a final score of 7-6. At one point in the extra session, Menachem pointed out the Beitar player lining up for his kick, and told me he was an old Maccabi player who had been their captain for years. I asked Menachem what his name was. Without missing a beat, he responded with "son of a bitch." God love that devotion!

Chanukka With The Family

I had dinner at Carmit and Shani's flat tonight with the whole family. Menachem and Devorah brought me along with them, I got to play with Shachar and Shai, and see Amir and even Prechia. It was excellent. Shachar has taken quite the shine to me. Shani tells me that this afternoon he was talking about how excited he was to see me. Of course this meant when I finally arrived, it was time to play. I tossed him and carried him and he climbed on me. We played with dreidels, toy trucks and musical instruments. When it was nearly time to go, I was instructed to come see how he takes his bath, and then come watch how he gets into bed. Of course the nicest part was when Shachar and I held the shamash together to light the Chanukka candles. I was invited to say the brachot. I sang them like I would back home, but I guess that isn't the custom here.

Shachar and I light candles while Menachem looks on.

Dinner was really good. Carmit made quiche and latkes, and there were some nice cheeses and bread. The guys spent a lot of the time over by the couch, as the Maccabi game started at 7:30. They played to a 1-1 draw with Bnei Sakhnin, Israel's only Arab team. It was very strange to see the advertisements in Arabic, including a giant ad for 'cellcom', one of Israel's major cell phone companies. Maccabi drew several yellow cards and one player drew a red card when he kicked an opponent, who promptly gave us a Vlade Divac inspired flop and grabbed his leg in seeming agony. Things looked pretty bleak during the stoppage time at the end of the game, but Haifa's goalie made several spectacular saves to preserve the draw.

Checking out the candle lighting before dinner.

I had quite the full day yesterday. Barbara and I went to the shuk to shop, and you would never guess what I found there: Butternut squash!!! I had no idea they could grow squash in Israel. I brought it home and got busy in the kitchen. By the time it was done, it was more candy than vegetable. I sliced it up real thing and then coated the pieces in butter, sugar and cinnamon, and baked the whole thing until it was soft. I had Lauren over for coffee and a taste of my concoction and we chatted about life and whatnot while the squash baked. The sugar-butter formed a black tar on the baking sheet which I would neglect to clean for several hours, and pay for that neglect. The stuff became tougher than cement. I actually had to boil water and pour it over the baking sheet to make the goo pliable enough to scrape off with steel wool.

I had Shabbat dinner in the moadon as usual and then left for the Hungarians' apartment to play cards. I ended up staying and hanging out with Mari until 2:30 before grabbing a cab back to university. It was a really late night and I ended up sleeping in until 12:30 in the afternoon. My day was pretty lazy, I sort of hung out around the dorms until Menachem picked me up for dinner.

Schadenfreude

I want to get this in writing while I still can: With 7:40 remaining in the second quarter, the Fighting Illini football team is tied at 14 with undefeated Ohio State, the top ranked team in the country. I'm thrilled that Illinois is a respectable team again, and very bitter that they didn't qualify for a single bowl game in my four years in Champaign. On to tonight's post...

We had a nice barbecue at the dorms this afternoon. A group of international students got together and we made ourselves a feast. Kabobs, turkey dogs and roasted veggies, pita, salads and hummus, tea and Turkish coffee. I nearly ate myself into a coma. Normally I prefer not to eat until I don't feel well. It was an especially poor decision today because I went over to the Mor's house around 5 to watch the M. Haifa - Bnei Yehuda Tel Aviv soccer match. Devorah seems to worry that I am wasting away, and she wants to stem the hemorrhaging by making sure I eat a lot when I visit. I know she does it because she cares, but I just can't eat that much, and she doesn't take no for an answer.

American men performing our birthright: grilling.

The game was a blowout. Maccabi crushed Bnei Yehuda 3-0, which is the soccer equivalent of telling someone your going to punch them in the mouth, and then going ahead and doing it. Shani and Carmit came with baby Shai around halftime. I spent much of the inconsequential second half playing with Shachar on the porch. God help me when I have kids. I don't have the energy to keep up with Shachar now, and I'm theoretically in my physical prime. After about 25 minutes, Shani came in out of the bullpen and I went back inside to rest. We chatted and I talked with Shai a little, and then everyone left but myself and Menachem. He and I watched a second soccer game, Beitar Jerusalem - Ironi Kiryat Shmona. This game ended in a 0-0 draw, but it was fascinating to talk to Menachem during the game; his schadenfreude was off the charts. The game had only a passing affect on Maccabi's standing in the league, but Menachem's hatred for Beitar is pure, and comes not from standings but from a deep conviction in the true and correct state of his fandom. I both admire and empathize with this particular strain of learned insanity. I am, after all, a Cubs fan.

I did a nice big load of laundry tonight at the Mor's. Devorah uses fabric softener, so my clothes are softer and sweeter smelling than they have been since I arrived. It's just wonderful. Tomorrow I am leaving the University at around 8 A.M. for a day trip in the Galilee. I'll update tomorrow evening with photos and stories. By the way, it's now halftime and Illinois is actually LEADING Ohio State by a touchdown. 21-14 Fighting Illini! I bet those OSU pricks are choking on their own pretentiousness right now. Honestly, "THE" Ohio State University?! Shut the fuck up.

0-0

This is the final score of last night's Maccabi Haifa - Beitar Jerusalem game. And that is wrong. Games should not end without a single score. They just should not. It's an affront to the concept of competition, and it's the reason this game will never catch on in the United States. It could have ended differently, and it should have. M. Haifa had their chances. There was a direct penalty kick that missed the goal completely. Then there was the goal that was called back on a foul (or "alleged" foul according to Menachem.) In the end it made no difference. What a total waste.

Haifa fans pack Kiryat Eliezer Stadium, prepare to kiss their sisters.

Kiryat Eliezer is much nicer than that dump in Netanya. They have a scoreboard and more than twice as much seating than at M. Netanya's stadium. Of course its the same whackos here, and in far greater numbers. This place was rocking. Beitar Jerusalem is Haifa's arch nemesis. Both teams have had recent success, including championship seasons, and they are the two richest and most popular teams in the country. This situation has spawned an intense and hostile rivalry between the opposing fan bases. The Haifa fans were chanting "Jerusalem on the dick" (it rhymes in Hebrew.) Beitar fans responded with chants of "we will fuck your mothers." Wholesome family entertainment.

The Premier League reminds fans that violence and racism set a poor example.

Of course there was no need for brawling with no winner. Rather the atmosphere was significantly tamer on the way out of the stadium than it was during the game. Getting home was an ordeal too. We waited for nearly an hour for a bus before finally breaking down and taking a cab home. I swear, Egged is less reliable than the CTA. It gets pretty frustrating. Our cabbie was easily the worst driver I've encountered in Israel too. I negotiated a price with him before we got in, so apparently he had no incentive to drive slowly. There is a road that winds up the mountain towards the University, and the speed limit is 70 KM/H. He was going 100, and weaving in and out of lanes like he had a death wish. I was thrilled to arrive back home in one piece.

My cabbie, B.D. Joe

Today was a very long day. 7 hours of class, plus my volunteer project this evening. I finally really got underway. My tutee is a 17 year old Ethiopian girl named Macey, who speaks almost no English. This is of course great practice for my Hebrew, but my goal is help her learn some English. Now that I know the situation I can start prepping for the tutoring session on the weekends. I'm not getting a curriculum or even materials from the University or the program, so I'll write my own exercises. No hassle there, it will afford me the kind of freedom that I crave in these situations.

Sunday Study Sunday

Today was a homework day for me so nothing terribly exciting happened. We have a group project for "Terrorism and Responses" in which we need to prepare a security briefing on a non-Middle East terrorist organization, including a 5-7 page paper and a 20 minute class presentation. My group is presenting on the LTTE (Tamil Tigers.) I did 3 hours of research on the Tigers to learn that they are not really nice guys.

Finished up my Arabic this evening with Doris. Our teacher is gonna load us up with work this semester, but it's fine with me. I'll learn Arabic much more quickly with extra repetitions, and working with a partner has kept me honest and motivated. Now I'm watching football (the American variety) with a couple other guys in the moadon. It's become somewhat of a Sunday night ritual for us. Unfortunately, we only get one game per week, and the Bears haven't been the featured game yet.

Menachem's Birthday

Today is Menachem's 61st birthday and we spent all day celebrating. I went to Menachem and Devorah's house this morning and waited there until Amir joined us. We all piled in the car and drove about 20 minutes to a Brazilian style steak house. There we met my cousin Carmit, her husband Shani and their two kids Shachar and Shai.

Amir and Shachar.

This is the first time I've had red meat since I arrived in Israel nearly three weeks ago, and I definitely made up for lost time. Amir ordered a dish for us to share: An entire kilo of meat. Beef, lamb and chicken. Steak on a sword. Delicious but serious overkill. This lunch brought me back to my "Basar Tuesday" days in Champaign. If you want to be grossed out, the old url is still online for some reason: http://www.ews.uiuc.edu/~kagin/basar_tuesday/

Menachem and I at lunch.

Shai is absolutely beautiful. She is six months old now. I missed meeting her by a week when I was here in March. Hopefully I will get to know her pretty well. Carmit already asked me about babysitting. I spent most of the post lunch chat time playing with her. She is a very active baby with a really strong grip, and she loves to laugh. Just love her!

Meet Shai!

After lunch Carmit and her family loaded the car and headed for home. We came back to Menachem's for a while to rest. I had the chance to call home and my parents got to wish Menachem a happy birthday. At 4:30 we rolled out for Netanya; I was on my way to seeing my first Israeli soccer game.

The family at lunch. Carmit is holding Shai with her brother Amir next to her. Devorah is sitting on the right and Menachem is partially blocked by me.

Menachem is a big Maccabi Haifa fan. He has been going to games since he was 16 years old. Of course it doesn't hurt that Haifa has a history of success that is both lengthy and recent. They won 3 consecutive Premier League championships as recently as 2006. Unfortunately, Haifa is not the powerhouse it has been in the past (they lost 4 players to free agency during the offseason), and they lost to Maccabi Netanya 2-1.

This is Menachem BEFORE the game. You can imagine how pleased he looked afterwards.

The Netanya soccer stadium is a dump. Apparently they call it "the box in Netanya." It actually reminded me a lot of Wrigley Field, but without the charm. It was old, small and crumbling. The bathroom (there was only 1) was filthy and poorly lit, and the pitch looked like the outfield grass after a Sting concert. Plus there is a short bleacher section on one side of the pitch and balls kept being kicked onto the street. Reminds me very much of balls flying onto Waveland on a hot summer day.

The Netanya colors are yellow and black. I have always felt this is the worst color combination in sports. Who wants to look like a bunch of bumblebees?

Of course if the stadium is a Roman era relic, the atmosphere in the stands was pure college football. I say this with the utmost reverence: these fans are fucking insane. They stood the entire game, singing and chanting, waving their M. Haifa scarves and screaming at the top of their lungs. The chants were very creative, and generally so dirty that they made me blush. I won't print them here in English, but as a bonus for those of you who read and understand Hebrew, I offer this little gem:
!נתניה זונה! נתניה זונה! נתניה מוצצת את כל השכונה

Haifa fans react to a first half goal.

The ride back home was somber for a few minutes and then loosened up. We stopped at a strip mall where one of Amir's restaurants is located so he could pop in a check up on business, and got ice cream afterwards. What a day! I finally got back to the dorms around 11:30. There is a home game next weekend against Beitar Jerusalem that I will most likely be going to with Per and maybe some other people. It was so much fun, I can already feel myself being drawn in. I want to close by once more wishing Menachem a happy 61st birthday, until one hundred and twenty. Today was his birthday, but I had such a great time it sure felt like mine.

The Haifa faithful performing one of their cheers.

One more gratuitous shot of Shachar and Shai, just because.