Party Like It's 1986

As an anthropology student, I was trained that making value judgments about the relative value of a culture is ethnocentric and inherently wrong. That's why you shouldn't take it lightly when I say that 1980's pop culture is the worst culture in the recorded history of humanity. After all, the 1980's brought us Madonna, Duran Duran, leg warmers and stick up bangs. Total garbage. Of course because it was so ridiculous, the 80's are ripe for parody. The movie Wet Hot American Summer is a parody of Jewish summer camps in the 80's. It's high comedy and I recommend it to all of you. Last night, I attended a Wet Hot American Summer end of the semester/tribute party.

You wouldn't know it by this photo,
but I was wearing short shorts.

It was a good party, and it was made better by the appearance of one Mina Ben Meir, also known as my Hebrew Ulpan teacher for the past year. Yes, my ulpan teacher came and partied with us, and it was awesome. She always used to talk to us in class about how she likes doing wine parties on the weekends, and she's so chill that she was totally comfortable just sitting and doing toasts with her students. It was awesome. Check it out!

Mina is in the middle, my friend Elana is on the left.

Israel in June is exceedingly hot, and yesterday's high was 34 degrees centigrade. That's hot. It wasn't that hot by nighttime, but in a cramped apartment in Hadar with too many bodies, there was steam on the air nonetheless. I took off my shirt to cool off and was reminded of a horrible truth - I could strip down to my birthday suit and still be uncomfortably warm. This damn fur coat that I'm wearing all the time just won't let me cool off in the summer!

Me and Ze, one of the Brazilian Jews here in Haifa.

People have already begun leaving en masse so I've had to say goodbye more times then I wanted to and it's only Friday. Many more goodbyes to go before I finally step onto a plane and head back to the states. I've got some butterflies in my stomach about the whole thing, but I'm trying to keep it cool. My last Shabbat here in Israel is just ahead of me, and I'll try to take advantage of it. Shabbat Shalom.

Bonnie and Danielle at the party

A Few Of My Favorite Things

With my time remaining in Israel having dwindled to a scant week, I've been thinking a lot about readjusting to life in the States. Many things about Israel are frustrating to me, and I won't miss them much. Other things in the Israel experience are so similar to the U.S. that it hardly makes any difference whether I'm here or there. Then there are those things that, because of personal experience or impersonal observations, cannot be replicated back home. These are just a handful of the things that are distinctly Israel to me, and that I expect to miss when I go home.

Dogs On Buses

And dogs in restaurants. And dogs in malls. And dogs in kindergartens. And dogs in hospitals. Israelis bring their dogs with them everywhere they go, and no one in this country gives a rats ass. Feeling jealous, dad?

Galgalatz

Sure, they play an indefensible mix of 80's pop, cheesy oldies, kitschy garbage and teeny bop Hebrew music, but Galgalatz is an Israeli institution. My friend Nimrod goes so far as to insist that their weekend program, םופשבוע רגוע (chilled out weekend), is auditory lithium intended to prevent riots or road accidents.

Chutzpa

I have a challenge for any of my readers who will be in Israel in the future: Go to any falafel stand all across the country, order a sandwich, and try to pay with a 100 shekel bill. If the cashier doesn't demand a smaller denomination (so called "small money"), he is either stoned or missing the frontal lobe of his brain. Just try it. Trust me.

Cheap Hummus

Supporting my half-kilo a day hummus habit is about to get a lot more expensive. What bothers me the most about the whole situation is that hummus is just about the perfect food, but it's seriously disrespected in the states. Think about it: You can use it as a main dish or a condiment. It's vegetarian. It has fat, protein and carbohydrates. And it's fucking delicious! I'm gonna have to spend some more time on Lawrence when I get back to Chicago. Not even sure where I'm going to find the stuff in Minneapolis.

The View From The Top Of The Carmel

I've lived here for a full school year, and this view still manages to take my breath away. My parent's house in Chicago is as close to the Lake Michigan shore as the university is to the Mediterranean, but because Chicago is flat we could never see the water. In Haifa, the water is not visible only when there is a building in front of you. The picture does not do justice to the view.

Maccabi Haifa

Maccabi Haifa didn't have a great season. In fact, they finished in fifth, costing their coach his job and giving Menachem plenty of heartburn along the way. Even so, I followed loyally all season and had a great time along the way. I learned something about soccer, although mostly I enjoyed the atmosphere at the games. These are cutallthebullshit contests, with legions of angry, somewhat unbalanced fans screaming their demand for nothing less than total domination on the pitch. The focus is always on the game too. There is no jumbotron, no contests in the stands or T-shirt cannons, and the only time the PA system is engaged is to announce a scoring play or a substitution. It's a novel idea, no? And there is way too much money in American sports for it to ever carry over. So for one last time in Israel, let me proclaim "הדם שלי ירוק."

Egged

Egged has been my primary mode of transportation, both in Haifa and all across the country. I've taken buses between Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Tiberias, Eilat, Netanya and Nahariyya, as well as innumerable intracity trips in Haifa. They aren't always timely or comfortable, but Egged has always gotten the job done for me, and it will be a shock to say goodbye to those big, green buses.

The Family

Israel can be intimidating, especially initially before one makes the adjustment. I had it easy. Most of my Israeli cousins live in Haifa, and I got to spend a full year getting to know them. My time with them ebbed and flowed depending on my schedule and whether or not I was traveling. I definitely spent the most time with Menachem, who I had lunch with semi regularly. I'm definitely going to miss Shahar (the little guy pictured above) and his little sister Tooty (real name is Shai.) Devora always made sure there was someone to look after me in Haifa, while Karmit and Shani were more than happy to share their kids with me. It's easy to say they are family, but they have been both family and friends while I have been in Haifa and I'll never forget it.

U of Haifa Dorm Life

Whether it's playing cards, drinking and nargila in the backyard, barbecues or weekend bonfires, I had an absolute blast living in the dorms this year. I lived in a dorm once before, my Freshman year in Champaign. And it was nothing like this. People at IT kept their doors closed, were involved in themselves and uninterested and meeting the other people in the dorm. Not so in Haifa. The overwhelming majority of my friends live here in the dorms, both Israeli and international. I've met Jews and Arabs, people who identify with Peace Now or the settlement movement, and international students from all over the world. I've made dozens of friends, and I've learned a lot about the world I live in.

Hebrew

I could write a long post just on my my complicated and ever changing relationship with the Hebrew language. As I was growing up, my attitude ranged from pride to distaste to indifference. When I first arrived to Israel, Hebrew was exciting and novel. However, after a few weeks I got frustrated with struggling with the language every day. Of course it got easier over time, and now it has become just another part of my day. I speak only Hebrew in my house and at work, and only Hebrew with about half of my Israeli friends and many of my family members. I hope that I'll be able to keep my skills up back in the states. Hebrew is an incredible language, logical and beautiful and uniquely Jewish, and I'm immensely proud to say that I finally speak it.

Arabic Final (Finally)

Today was an emotional day at work. I had a near disaster, as one of my wheelchair-bound students started rocking back and forth in her chair while we were bringing the kids in from the garden outside. I was walking back to get her when the chair dipped into a garden bed and tipped over. I caught it with her head literally inches from the pavement. Nearly stroked out. When we came inside, I sat down to catch my breath, when Rola and the kids surprised me with a going away party. Two of the kids were really upset and asked me questions like "why I wanted to go to America", and "who was going to play with them once I was gone?" It's going to be really tough to say goodbye on Wednesday.

My Arabic final exam is tomorrow at noon. I'll be glad to get the damn thing over and done with. If the midterm was any indication, this is not going to be a cakewalk. I do feel a little better prepared than I felt before I took the midterm, and hopefully that will pay dividends. I'll share either way. I'm gonna follow the advice of a wise person in my life, and just go in and tell Yaron what I know. Aint nothing else to do.

One random scrap of oddness before I get back to my studies: The Israel Baseball League has gone belly up. I can't say I'm surprised. The league was a financial catastrophe, to the point that they began deducting money from player's paychecks to recompense the league when they would hit foul balls into the stands. Plus, baseball just didn't have much appeal for the Sabra's. Still, it's really a shame that this league was a one hit wonder in the same mold as the XFL. Maybe someday that IBL T-shirt I have will be a collectors item. But I doubt it.