Party Like It's 1986

As an anthropology student, I was trained that making value judgments about the relative value of a culture is ethnocentric and inherently wrong. That's why you shouldn't take it lightly when I say that 1980's pop culture is the worst culture in the recorded history of humanity. After all, the 1980's brought us Madonna, Duran Duran, leg warmers and stick up bangs. Total garbage. Of course because it was so ridiculous, the 80's are ripe for parody. The movie Wet Hot American Summer is a parody of Jewish summer camps in the 80's. It's high comedy and I recommend it to all of you. Last night, I attended a Wet Hot American Summer end of the semester/tribute party.

You wouldn't know it by this photo,
but I was wearing short shorts.

It was a good party, and it was made better by the appearance of one Mina Ben Meir, also known as my Hebrew Ulpan teacher for the past year. Yes, my ulpan teacher came and partied with us, and it was awesome. She always used to talk to us in class about how she likes doing wine parties on the weekends, and she's so chill that she was totally comfortable just sitting and doing toasts with her students. It was awesome. Check it out!

Mina is in the middle, my friend Elana is on the left.

Israel in June is exceedingly hot, and yesterday's high was 34 degrees centigrade. That's hot. It wasn't that hot by nighttime, but in a cramped apartment in Hadar with too many bodies, there was steam on the air nonetheless. I took off my shirt to cool off and was reminded of a horrible truth - I could strip down to my birthday suit and still be uncomfortably warm. This damn fur coat that I'm wearing all the time just won't let me cool off in the summer!

Me and Ze, one of the Brazilian Jews here in Haifa.

People have already begun leaving en masse so I've had to say goodbye more times then I wanted to and it's only Friday. Many more goodbyes to go before I finally step onto a plane and head back to the states. I've got some butterflies in my stomach about the whole thing, but I'm trying to keep it cool. My last Shabbat here in Israel is just ahead of me, and I'll try to take advantage of it. Shabbat Shalom.

Bonnie and Danielle at the party

A Few Of My Favorite Things

With my time remaining in Israel having dwindled to a scant week, I've been thinking a lot about readjusting to life in the States. Many things about Israel are frustrating to me, and I won't miss them much. Other things in the Israel experience are so similar to the U.S. that it hardly makes any difference whether I'm here or there. Then there are those things that, because of personal experience or impersonal observations, cannot be replicated back home. These are just a handful of the things that are distinctly Israel to me, and that I expect to miss when I go home.

Dogs On Buses

And dogs in restaurants. And dogs in malls. And dogs in kindergartens. And dogs in hospitals. Israelis bring their dogs with them everywhere they go, and no one in this country gives a rats ass. Feeling jealous, dad?

Galgalatz

Sure, they play an indefensible mix of 80's pop, cheesy oldies, kitschy garbage and teeny bop Hebrew music, but Galgalatz is an Israeli institution. My friend Nimrod goes so far as to insist that their weekend program, םופשבוע רגוע (chilled out weekend), is auditory lithium intended to prevent riots or road accidents.

Chutzpa

I have a challenge for any of my readers who will be in Israel in the future: Go to any falafel stand all across the country, order a sandwich, and try to pay with a 100 shekel bill. If the cashier doesn't demand a smaller denomination (so called "small money"), he is either stoned or missing the frontal lobe of his brain. Just try it. Trust me.

Cheap Hummus

Supporting my half-kilo a day hummus habit is about to get a lot more expensive. What bothers me the most about the whole situation is that hummus is just about the perfect food, but it's seriously disrespected in the states. Think about it: You can use it as a main dish or a condiment. It's vegetarian. It has fat, protein and carbohydrates. And it's fucking delicious! I'm gonna have to spend some more time on Lawrence when I get back to Chicago. Not even sure where I'm going to find the stuff in Minneapolis.

The View From The Top Of The Carmel

I've lived here for a full school year, and this view still manages to take my breath away. My parent's house in Chicago is as close to the Lake Michigan shore as the university is to the Mediterranean, but because Chicago is flat we could never see the water. In Haifa, the water is not visible only when there is a building in front of you. The picture does not do justice to the view.

Maccabi Haifa

Maccabi Haifa didn't have a great season. In fact, they finished in fifth, costing their coach his job and giving Menachem plenty of heartburn along the way. Even so, I followed loyally all season and had a great time along the way. I learned something about soccer, although mostly I enjoyed the atmosphere at the games. These are cutallthebullshit contests, with legions of angry, somewhat unbalanced fans screaming their demand for nothing less than total domination on the pitch. The focus is always on the game too. There is no jumbotron, no contests in the stands or T-shirt cannons, and the only time the PA system is engaged is to announce a scoring play or a substitution. It's a novel idea, no? And there is way too much money in American sports for it to ever carry over. So for one last time in Israel, let me proclaim "הדם שלי ירוק."

Egged

Egged has been my primary mode of transportation, both in Haifa and all across the country. I've taken buses between Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Tiberias, Eilat, Netanya and Nahariyya, as well as innumerable intracity trips in Haifa. They aren't always timely or comfortable, but Egged has always gotten the job done for me, and it will be a shock to say goodbye to those big, green buses.

The Family

Israel can be intimidating, especially initially before one makes the adjustment. I had it easy. Most of my Israeli cousins live in Haifa, and I got to spend a full year getting to know them. My time with them ebbed and flowed depending on my schedule and whether or not I was traveling. I definitely spent the most time with Menachem, who I had lunch with semi regularly. I'm definitely going to miss Shahar (the little guy pictured above) and his little sister Tooty (real name is Shai.) Devora always made sure there was someone to look after me in Haifa, while Karmit and Shani were more than happy to share their kids with me. It's easy to say they are family, but they have been both family and friends while I have been in Haifa and I'll never forget it.

U of Haifa Dorm Life

Whether it's playing cards, drinking and nargila in the backyard, barbecues or weekend bonfires, I had an absolute blast living in the dorms this year. I lived in a dorm once before, my Freshman year in Champaign. And it was nothing like this. People at IT kept their doors closed, were involved in themselves and uninterested and meeting the other people in the dorm. Not so in Haifa. The overwhelming majority of my friends live here in the dorms, both Israeli and international. I've met Jews and Arabs, people who identify with Peace Now or the settlement movement, and international students from all over the world. I've made dozens of friends, and I've learned a lot about the world I live in.

Hebrew

I could write a long post just on my my complicated and ever changing relationship with the Hebrew language. As I was growing up, my attitude ranged from pride to distaste to indifference. When I first arrived to Israel, Hebrew was exciting and novel. However, after a few weeks I got frustrated with struggling with the language every day. Of course it got easier over time, and now it has become just another part of my day. I speak only Hebrew in my house and at work, and only Hebrew with about half of my Israeli friends and many of my family members. I hope that I'll be able to keep my skills up back in the states. Hebrew is an incredible language, logical and beautiful and uniquely Jewish, and I'm immensely proud to say that I finally speak it.

Arabic Final (Finally)

Today was an emotional day at work. I had a near disaster, as one of my wheelchair-bound students started rocking back and forth in her chair while we were bringing the kids in from the garden outside. I was walking back to get her when the chair dipped into a garden bed and tipped over. I caught it with her head literally inches from the pavement. Nearly stroked out. When we came inside, I sat down to catch my breath, when Rola and the kids surprised me with a going away party. Two of the kids were really upset and asked me questions like "why I wanted to go to America", and "who was going to play with them once I was gone?" It's going to be really tough to say goodbye on Wednesday.

My Arabic final exam is tomorrow at noon. I'll be glad to get the damn thing over and done with. If the midterm was any indication, this is not going to be a cakewalk. I do feel a little better prepared than I felt before I took the midterm, and hopefully that will pay dividends. I'll share either way. I'm gonna follow the advice of a wise person in my life, and just go in and tell Yaron what I know. Aint nothing else to do.

One random scrap of oddness before I get back to my studies: The Israel Baseball League has gone belly up. I can't say I'm surprised. The league was a financial catastrophe, to the point that they began deducting money from player's paychecks to recompense the league when they would hit foul balls into the stands. Plus, baseball just didn't have much appeal for the Sabra's. Still, it's really a shame that this league was a one hit wonder in the same mold as the XFL. Maybe someday that IBL T-shirt I have will be a collectors item. But I doubt it.

Student Day In Haifa

Israel has a fine tradition called "Student Day" which I was lucky enough to be a part of this past Thursday. It is a celebration of all things student and it meant a big party down by the beaches with several prominent Israeli musicians. It was going to be huge, with students from all over Haifa and the North in attendance.

Elliot "prepares" for the Student Day concerts.

The international school gang gathered at our usual spot on the boardwalk behind the lowest level of the Talia dorms for dinner and pre gaming. I was getting pretty amped up because some of the acts were supposed to be really good. The show didn't disappoint.

Pregamin' it.

The last time I saw a show at the convention center, it was Purim and the party was inside. The Student Day concerts were out on a big open field that I didn't even know existed, across the street from the Haifa Mall. It was quite a setup they had - food, liquor and cigarette stands formed a perimeter with tents and nargila rentals towards the back, and space in the front for dancing facing a huge outdoor stage.

Aviv Geffen performing early on.

As you've just learned, Aviv Geffen was the first act I saw. He was nothing short of phenomenal. One of the most talented musicians in Israel, he gives a great show. Next up was Beri Saharof. I'll admit that I wasn't really familiar with him before the concert. I liked his style though. He was a very easy going stage presence that meshes well with his Hebrew ballad style of music. I was less impressed by ٌRon Denker.

Pyrotechnics were a big
part of Saharof's act.

At about 1 A.M., the headlining band, Infected Mushroom, took the stage. This was after 20 minutes of the Haifa University student union standing on stage and patting each other on the back. Some things are constant even cross culturally. I was most excited about seeing them before I arrived but by the time they finally began to play, I was just exhausted. I took one of the earlier buses back and only heard about 20 minutes of Infected Mushroom. That was dissapointing, but it was great to see so many Israeli acts in one night. How can we bring Student Day to America??

Lea, Elles and Dani at the concert.

A Jewish Engagement

One of my Madrichim, Levi is marrying a girl a grew up with, Ilana Slutsky. I didn't even know they were dating until last Thursday night, when they announced it at an international school event. It was, as they say, an utter mind-fuck. Tonight I went to the engagement party. It was religious, which came as no surprise. It was also mostly Americans. I arrived at around 7, and had a watermelon daiquiri in my hand less than 5 minutes later. It's a Wednesday night and I have class in the morning, so I had no interest in getting drunk, but it was tough not to. They were drinking like it's going out of style.

The party is in the quiet, wealthy neighborhood of נווה שאנן (Nave Sha'anan.) My cousin Prechia lives in the area, though I didn't see her. Did I mention it's a wealthy neighborhood? They had a gorgeous view of the bay facing North, looking out towards Acco and East to the Galilee. If it wasn't for the smog, it would have been flawless. Haifa holds the "honor" of being Israel's most polluted city.

The party was nice, albeit predictable. Levi gave a nice speech about Adam and Eve, and the yearning of the person for his soul/mate. It would have been utterly nondescript, but it was in Hebrew and I followed perfectly. They'll be going back to Chicago next week to celebrate with her family. I wish them a hearty mazal tov and all the happiness in the world.

Carmel Park

What a gorgeous day it is today. What an excellent weekend this is shaping up to be. I spent most of yesterday with Menachem. We went to the Grand Kanyon mall (it's a pun, the word "kanyon" in Hebrew means mall), where we had lunch together, traded stories and did some grocery shopping. I came back home that afternoon and did a little work, but mostly tried to be with people as I anticipate my time in Haifa dwindling. After Shabbat dinner in the dorms moadon, I went with a few of the boys out into the park for a night of camping.

I didn't really take advantage of the park much last semester except to job. I'm glad I know better now. The Carmel Park is the single greatest advantage Haifa has over every other major city in Israel - a massive nature reserve literally a 5 minute walk away. We walked about a half hour out, cutting East and South away from the campus to a nice clearing with a fantastic view of the water and parts of the city below. What we didn't anticipate there being were a group of drunken, jackass locals who were screaming and carousing until 4 A.M. I'm not exactly an early-to-bed, early-to-rise type, but this was way over the top.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK!

We had trouble finding the wood we would need for a fire. We got out there late, didn't have enough flashlights to go around, and there just wasn't any fuel on the path. A crashing into the forest we would go. Finally, we pulled a huge, dead branch down that had fallen but gotten caught in the lower branches of a tree. It made for an excellent fire when all was said and done.

Just a cool fire pic.

The next morning we hiked a little further East up the road and hit up a different Druze pita stand. They are multiplying! This guy was more engaging than the group who runs the stand by campus, and they had a hummus option to go along with the labneh and za'atar. A good time was definitely had by all. We trecked back home for a quiet afternoon. I did some laundry, a little reading, and hung out with my friends. Tonight I'm going with Menachem to my final Maccabi Haifa game of the season, vs. Maccabi Herzlyia. Beitar has already clinched the championship based on points (bastards), but we're still going to pull for our team. Shabbat shalom.

Hamsin

A Hamsin is a local term for a hot, dusty wind that blows through Israel from the Negev and Sinai. It brings with it unbearable heat and heavy air pollution. It is generally unpleasant. Some have speculated that the term (Arabic for 50) refers to the number of days that a Hamsin blows through the country every year. I've heard another suggestion though: The temperature in the desert can reach 50 degrees (Celcius) during a bad Hamsin. That translates to about 120 degrees Fahrenheit, which is a heat I simply cannot fathom. Lucky us, we've got a Hamsin coming through the area now!

Midwesterners who may or may not still be getting snow in May will want to bash me for bitching about the weather here. Sure, it may be sunny and comfortably warm almost every day in Haifa during the Spring. I don't underrate that. Unfortunately, when it does get hot, I have no way to cope with it. I am a cold weather individual. Everything about me is built for the cold. I'm short, heavy, and hairy. When the heat hits, I just wilt. Give me sub freezing temperatures and ice any day over 100+ degree heat.